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Concerning Comments – Diablo 3 rage reviews



NOTE: The purpose of this article is purely comedic, and it is not meant to insult, offend, or demean an individual or group in any way.

By now, it’s no secret that a lot of people were not happy with Diablo III‘s launch today. All was not lost, however, as they found refuge in the Metacritic user reviews section, where they were free to expel their inner demons by way of questionable grammar skills. For today’s feature debut of Concerning Comments, In dedication to their hardships and misery, we’ve compiled the very best of the user reviews for you to view here. Be warned, for they will put tears in your eye, even if they happen to be tears of laughter. Comments, commence!

The Hatred Begins

We begin with a user who was so angry at the fact that the game was rated ‘2+’ by PEGI, that he ‘wanted back his cash.’ A noble pursuit, though I’m pretty sure you could have checked the rating on the box.

We then stumble upon this fellow, who was surprised that a game released this year was expensive. He also stated “Why is RPG called?”, though I think he meant to say “Why is RPG cold?”, presumably because he left the game in his freezer in a fit of rage.

Unfortunately for the user below, the game “very disappointed” him. He even came to the conclusion that because the game cost him $100, Blizzard “are fat guys.” You learn something new every day.

Estel thought lowly of Diablo III, explaining that he was disappointed that it didn’t play like “minesweaper.” He does have a point; why did Blizzard use “so mutch” of their time to “makes it boring?”

Then came the heroic 3point7, whose plan of attack was simple but elegant. He called anybody who liked the game an “autistic man child brony” and displayed a continuous stream of rage at error 3.7, the malevolent entity that seems to be causing much of today’s rage.

FalseParadigm is probably finished building a shelter against the “blizzdrones” as we speak. Nevertheless, he’s probably my favorite for his use of the phrase “pay2win”. I see a future for this lad.

Many people disliked Diablo III today, but s*** certainly got real when esteemed rager Gravaviel said that he disliked it “profusely.” Oh, the humanity!

It seems that the chant 3point7 did earlier worked, because at that point Error 37 took physical form and logged onto Metacritic to write his own review. He is, apparently, the embodiment of everything that’s wrong with the game.

Of course, there’s always the option of waiting for “pirates to the solve it.” After all, pirates solve everything.

Or, you could just enable Caps Lock. That works too.

You know your game is bad when people can’t tell it apart from Call of Duty. Enough said.

Luckily, even Roger Ebert’s son was able to swoop in to save the day by calling D3 “the most cancerous game of the century”, and stating that the graphics managed to build a time machine, considering they were from 2001.

One user disagreed with Ebert Jr, however. He stated the game was in fact “cancer killing”, probably due to its whimsical “Disney storytelling” that warms even the hardest of hearts. He also criticized Blizzard’s marketing philosophy, saying it needed to be more subtle. Because, you know, it’s not the marketing department’s job to get people interested in the game, is it?

Finally, we get the ultimate hater. A guy who dislikes the game so much, that he couldn’t even think straight while writing and accidentally called the game a first-person shooter. I’m sure we can all relate to him.

The Retalition

The naysayers did not go unchallenged, however. Several bright-eyed Paladins stormed onto the battlefield, attempting to shower Diablo III with utmost praise. Let’s see how they did.

According to MLGArcane, some “**** retards” just can’t log in, “for ****sake.” He was essentially raging against the ragers; an effective tactic.

The fellow user below was at a loss of words when he witnessed the mangled words before him, as he found that he needed to freeze mid sentence.

Estan, who is probably Estel’s good twin, thinks Diablo III is “absolutely perfect.” Seriously. “It has no flaws and is really fun to play.” Finally, as a sort of insult to Communism, he stated that “the people are pathetic.” Genius.

But you know what the real problem is? Those darn kids. They can’t log onto the game, simply due to the fact that “summer is here.”

We also get this one guy who really likes Diablo III. In fact, he can’t even finish a sentence without mentioning it. The game does tickle him in the pants, after all.

This one has made a brilliant allusion to The Lord of The Rings, stating that those disappointed with the game are like Gollum; they just can’t live without their precious. In fact, they often go so far as to abandon their wives and kids in hotel rooms.

The Winner

Finally, we come to the messiah. A guy so wise that he has found the correct ideology; one of neutrality. That’s right, he doesn’t love or hate the game, he simply thinks it’s ok. This has apparently pleased the gods so much, they turned him into a bunch of slugs. yeah.


Come back next week for another side-splitting episode of Concerning Comments, every Thursday here at OnlySP.


Now an occasional contributer, Michael Urban is the former Editor-in-Chief at OnlySP and has the nickname "Breadcrab" for reasons his therapist still doesn't understand. From the moment he first got hacked in Runescape, he's been uninterested in multiplayer games and has pursued the beauty of the single-player experience, especially in terms of story and creative design. His hobbies include reading, writing, singing in the shower, pretending to be productive, and providing info and feedback regarding the games industry. It is an industry, right? You can ask him a question or send him spam at Also, follow him on Twitter or the terrorists win. (@MichaelUrban1)


The Maker of 2019’s Must-Have Interstellar RPG Within the Cosmos Talks Gameplay, Lore, and the Future



Within the Cosmos

Some indie games look impressive enough to match anything coming out of the AAA studios. Within the Cosmos fits that bill to a tee. Every screenshot from the project shines with ethereal beauty, and the description makes it sound like a marvellous mash-up of Deus Ex, Mass Effect, and Halo

This RPG casts players as a would-be colonist intended to seed human life away from what seems to be an apocalyptic interstellar war.

To find out more about the promising project, OnlySP reached out to developer Francis Debois, who went into great depth about the gameplay, structure, and the processes involved in production across the last five years. 

OnlySP: I wanted to start by asking about the gameplay. In the marketing you’ve mentioned that objectives can be completed through stealth, combat, or diplomacy, which is always a plus for an RPG. Is that multi-path approach available for every mission, and how free-form are the player’s options?

Debois: The missions in the game generally give you multiple ways to affect how the mission unfolds, whether it’s through dialogue or how the player approaches the mission. Also, the options available to you are governed by the type of character you create. If you have a character that’s high in Intelligence, you might be able to hack a control panel that opens a door to a room that you’d otherwise have to fight through to get to, or if your Charisma isn’t high enough, and you try to convince them to leave the area, they might not listen to what you have to say, and they’ll become hostile, or you can simply avoid all of that and find a way to sneak inside!

OnlySP: From what I understand, the RPG levelling mechanics are tied to modules on the character’s suit. Can you tell us more about how this system works and maybe provide examples of some of those modules and upgrades?

Debois: Modules are essentially “perk points” that you can use to upgrade your character. Every time you level up your character, you will get a module you can use to enhance/alter your character. The perks available to you are tied to your attribute points. So, if your Agility is high enough, you can “spend” a module and get the “Light Steps” perk, which makes your footsteps much lighter, therefore harder for the enemies to hear.

OnlySP: The game also has a stat system, which sounds a little like S.P.E.C.I.A.L. from Fallout. Is that an apt comparison? Will players be able to improve and modify those stats through gameplay and, if so, how?

Debois: Yeah, it’s a similar idea to how S.P.E.C.I.A.L. works in Fallout or similar games. When the player starts the game, they will be given a fixed amount of points that they can assign to their attributes. So, if you decide to max out your Constitution and Agility, you’ll have a character who’s agile, sneaky, and strong, but that would come at the cost of not having much Intelligence, Charisma, or Perception. So, you’re really gonna have to think about what attributes you favour, or you could put a roughly equal amount into all of them and have a character that can do a little bit of everything but not a master of everything. It’s up to you. I feel like that system will really create the desire for players to have multiple playthroughs of the game, and still have each playthrough feel like a different experience.

As far as improving and modifying those stats… I’m still trying to get the balance right. There might be one or two instances where you can upgrade them, or get temporary boosts to them, but whether you can improve or modify them beyond that is still being determined.

OnlySP: While upgrading, will players be able to respec their character’s abilities at all or are they locked into the upgrades they use?

Debois: No, they won’t be able to respec. Once you select an upgrade/perk, that’s what you’re locked into.

OnlySP: If I recall correctly, I’ve read somewhere that Within the Cosmos has a linear structure. Does that mean players won’t be able to revisit previous locations? 

Debois: You WILL be able to revisit previous locations. It’s linear in the sense that you can’t visit a new region, or planet that you have no narrative reason to visit yet. For example, the first planet you go to in the game is Alios, the second planet you visit is Berith II. If you’re right in the beginning of the game and you just got to Alios, you won’t be able to just go straight to Berith II until you’ve reached the point in the story where it makes sense to go there, but once you go there, you can go back and forth between those planets as often as you’d like. Also, I used the term “linear” as a way to get the point across that it’s not a huge open sandbox or anything. The game is very story-driven.

OnlySP: Speaking of locations, the game has the character visiting a number of planets. How many planets are there, and how have you differentiated each of them?

Debois: There are three planets in the game. Each one is aesthetically different, with different fauna, different factions, and the architecture of each planet reflects the dominant faction or factions on that planet. Aside from those locations, there are other places you’ll visit for a mission or a series of missions.

OnlySP: Looking at the Steam Greenlight page, there’s mention of vehicles and survival mechanics, but those seem not to have made it to the final version. Can you maybe explain how the development process has resulted in changes from the game you initially set out to make?

Debois: The direction the game was headed when I created the Greenlight page was completely different to what it ended up being! Initially, I intended to make an FPS with survival mechanics, but as the game progressed, and I started writing more of the story, I realised that survival mechanics didn’t really make sense, and it negatively impacted the experience. There were many things that were added and cut out in the end, so vehicles, and the survival mechanics were just two of the many things that simply didn’t end up feeling right as the game really began to take shape. As I wrote more and more, I felt like an RPG would be the best way for players to experience the game and the story.

OnlySP: You’ve mentioned that the game should take between eight and ten hours to complete. Does that factor in all the content available in the game or just the main missions?

Debois: 8-10 hours is a rough estimate of what I would say an “average” playthrough would be. Which is someone who has completed the main story, and did a few side missions. If you decide to do everything possible in the game, it will certainly take longer than that, but if you decide to strictly follow the main story, it will be shorter than that.

OnlySP: As I’ve been following Within the Cosmos, I’ve felt that it looks a bit like Halo and sounds a lot like Deus Ex. It’s got me wondering what you feel as though it’s most similar to and what sort of inspirations have shaped the look, feel, and overall tone?

Debois: Oh, there have been so many inspirations! I love the FPS RPG genre, so Deus Ex was a massive inspiration, as was Fallout: New Vegas. Those are two top tier FPS RPG games that I absolutely love. Space-based games have had an influence as well, such as Halo and Mass Effect. They helped shape the game in one way or another. I’d say the biggest inspiration behind it all has been Star Trek, I think the story and lore will reflect that to some degree.

OnlySP: Within the Cosmos is set against the backdrop of an interstellar war. How much of that background lore will players be privy to as the experience goes on?

Debois: The interstellar war is the reason that the player, and the factions are there in the first place. You will be exposed to the history of the war by reading some of the logs in the game, and through some characters you meet, etc. The war is what ties everything together. As you play through the game, you will see that even though you’ve escaped to this region of space, which is far away from the war itself, you still feel the effects of it. What you decide to do can really influence how the war plays out.

OnlySP: Meanwhile, the main story follows an individual sent to safety to preserve the human race. We’ve seen similar ideas of species protection and propagation in the likes of Fallout and Mass Effect: Andromeda. How is Within the Cosmos distinct from those earlier games?

Debois: Well, I really don’t like to compare Within the Cosmos to other games, but Fallout is more of a sandbox, and Mass Effect is more of a story-driven action RPG. Within the Cosmos falls somewhere in the middle of that.

OnlySP: As I understand it, Within the Cosmos, is entirely self-funded, self-developed, and self-published. Did you ever consider crowdfunding or partnering with a publisher to help get the game across the line sooner? Why or why not?

Debois: Not really, no. Some people suggested that I should try crowdfunding but that was something I was never interested in for Within the Cosmos. This was really a game that I wanted to make myself, so funding it and publishing it myself felt the most natural to me.

OnlySP: I know there’s still a little while before Within the Cosmos launches, but what’s next for debdev?

Debois: Once Within the Cosmos is out, I’m going to listen to the feedback from the community, and just work on updating the game with more content as time goes on. I really want to give this game all the support I can give it. Anything after that, we’ll have to see what happens! I would love to work on some of the other ideas I have, some more RPGs. There are other games that I really want to make, but after dedicating nearly five years of my life to this game, I’m not sure I will have the financial means to be able to do this again! 

OnlySP: Finally, do you have any final comments that you’d like to leave with our readers?

Debois: I’d really like to thank those who have been giving the game compliments, and those who have been providing feedback! It all really means a lot to me, and proves that all the years of hard work that I have inputted into the game, has been all worth it!

Thank you all for reading this, and for having an interest in Within the Cosmos! I really hope you check it out on Steam, wishlist it, and play it when it releases on 1 August!

For all the latest on the game and much more from the world of single-player gaming, be sure to bookmark OnlySP and follow us on FacebookTwitter, and YouTube. You can also join the discussion in our community Discord server.

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